INTROVERTED (And lonely)… when introversion drives you too far away from the crowd.
You know, it is sort of funny and ironic that I am the one to write a book about connecting, when I am a total introvert myself! Most people who know me well, know that I tend to be a bit reclusive. When I tell them that I wrote a book about connecting, they look at me a little strange. Caleb? You?
And yet, here I am, putting my thoughts on paper about this subject that I am not naturally an expert in. For me, relationships have required quite a bit of work. I suppose that’s true of most introverts.
Here’s Myers Briggs’ description of introversion: I like getting my energy from dealing with the ideas, pictures, memories, and reactions that are inside my head, in my inner world. I often prefer doing things alone or with one or two people I feel comfortable with. I take time to reflect so that I have a clear idea of what I’ll be doing when I decide to act. Ideas are almost solid things for me. Sometimes I like the idea of something better than the real thing.
The first time I read this description, it felt like a little light-bulb went on above my head. It was as though I finally understood myself. I finally didn’t feel guilty for my common inclinations to be alone. I didn’t feel like a weirdo for not wanting to be among the crowd.
Knowing this put me at liberty to seek more solitude and to feel alright about it. And, it was a pretty refreshing change of perspective. However, I soon discovered that my introversion could actually take me too far into isolation. I could easily spend so much time alone that I would drive myself into loneliness.
When I was heavily involved in music recording, for example, I could easily spend 10 hours a day in front of a computer screen. I could easily shut my door and tune out the world, working on a single project for days at a time. I would get lost in my own internal world, and it felt blissful. Then, after too long, I would begin to feel a strange ache for connection.
This is part of what drove me to write a book about connecting. I rediscovered the value in learning to establish and maintain healthy relationships. And, in learning how to grow in areas where I am not naturally strong. I also began to realize that this is a need that many other people I know can relate with.
So many people feel a bit helpless with their connections (or lack thereof). They wish they were closer to certain people. They wish their phones rang more. They wish they didn’t feel stuck in their loneliness, or they just wish they knew how to handle their relationships better.
They wish they knew how to reestablish a connection with people they’ve grown out of touch with. They feel a sense of rejection from past connections that have grown distant over time. I can only say – I know these feelings too well. That is why I chose to write about them.
I think that this is what makes this book interesting, in a way – you’re not getting advice from a natural-born social butterfly. You’re getting stories and life-lessons from a natural-born introvert – someone who has had to work at his relationships in order to keep them alive.
I am not an expert, which I think gives this book a humbling, realistic approach. And, one that I think will benefit anyone. Because, if I’m able to find solutions that work for me, they should work for anyone!
Are you introverted? Are you able to relate? If so, I hope you find what I’ve written beneficial. I have made my book free until March 29. Please feel free to DOWNLOAD IT HERE.